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I Loved Her First

By Anne B. Walsh

Author Notes:

Characters by JKR, song by Heartland, anything else I need to disclaim? No? Good.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Harry Potter said into the microphone, his hair unusually tidy for him (it looked as if only three mice had been dancing in it, as opposed to the usual dozen). "I give you the bride and groom, and their first dance."

The wedding guests applauded as the newlyweds took the floor.

At one of the floor-side tables, Remus Lupin watched the groom take the bride into his arms. The first few notes of the song began—an instrumental version, he noticed, probably a compromise between the two.

He wouldn’t have wanted those words over their first dance, and I can’t blame him. But she wanted to have the song, and I can’t blame her. It’s what was playing when he proposed, and it’s beautiful, not to mention a good tempo for slow dancing.

In the silence of his mind, he began to sing the missing words.

Look at the two of you dancing that way
Lost in the moment and each other’s face
So much in love you’re alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world

Shrieks and giggles filled his inner ears as memories flooded back.

I was enough for her not long ago

Marveling at the perfection and the trust of the tiny creature in his arms.

I was her number one
She told me so

A solemn voice, and a still-small hand passing him an envelope.

And she still means the world to me
Just so you know

Stroking a calico cat curled in his lap, feeling his bones vibrate with the room-filling purr.

So be careful when you hold my girl

On the dance floor, a hand reached out and stroked a brown curl away from a vibrant face, then tugged gently on it.

Time changes everything
Life must go on

Remus recalled the first, stammering explanations of what had happened between the two of them.

And I'm not gonna stand in your way

He threw himself into the chorus, half-hearing another mental voice harmonize with his.

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers

Breathing again in a small green backyard as a tremulous but unhurt voice called his name.

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep

A glowing carving on a golden chain, the chill that warned of death, and the knowledge that this loss, more than any other but one, would destroy him.

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

The first meeting between the now-newlyweds in the snowy orchard, not witnessed but described in glowing, excited detail.

But it’s still hard to give her away

The halting question posed by that same pair nearly ten years later, and his own half-hearted wish to say no and keep what was his.

I loved her first

Remus took the moment between the verses to scan the audience, picking out the familiar faces and acknowledging the ones who couldn’t be there. Know that you’re missed, and we love you still.

He began to sing silently again, looking in wonder at the pair on the dance floor.

How could that beautiful woman with you
Be the same freckle faced kid that I knew

Of course, in this case, the freckles had been, and still were, on the other face, but it was the thought that counted.

The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights

Following the words on the page with his finger, while little eyes traced his every move.

And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

It hadn’t been quite that easy, but no matter. The chorus came around again.

But I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers

His heart held a lot of places, Remus thought, but none dearer than this one.

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep

The rushing, laughing, crying embrace in the courtroom, as what had been reality for twelve years became fact in law.

And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it’s still hard to give her away

And it had been, but he’d still done it.

I loved her first

Another instrumental break, fervent and excited-sounding. The newlyweds held each other closer, and their steps slowed.

From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me

Opening his eyes to a new day, and that one beloved face beaming down at him.

I knew the love of a father runs deep

The tall man on the floor bent his head to kiss his smaller bride. Remus smiled to himself.

Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you

The kiss ended.

I loved her first

Ron and Hermione Weasley gazed into each other’s eyes, not moving at all, for the last few moments of their song, as the wedding guests applauded and cheered.