Be Careful
58: How Much You Notice

By Anne B. Walsh

Previous 1: What You Wish For 2: Who You Look At 3: What You Admit To 4: Where You Count To 5: What You Believe In 6: How High You Fly 7: How Hard You Fall 8: Who You Get To Know 9: What You Say You'll Do 10: Who You Ask For Help 11: Who You Think About 12: Where You Fall Asleep 13: Who You Defy 14: How You Begin 15: What You Try To Say 16: What Shape You Wear 17: Who You Sing With 18: Whose Name You Say 19: Who You Say You'll Be 20: How Long You Take 21: What You Bargain With 22: Where You Call Home 23: What You Hold Onto 24: What You Dance To 25: What You Spy On 26: Whom You Show Love 27: What You Act Like 28: Who You Show Off To 29: What You Scheme For 30: What You Contrast 31: What You Create 32: What Soul You Seek 33: What Trouble You Brew 34: When You Make Your Move 35: Who You Call Family 36: Whom You Tease 37: What You Mean To Kill 38: What Help You Find 39: Where You Watch 40: Who You Bring Along 41: What You Pretend 42: What You Find Important 43: What Wish You Tell 44: Who You Dream Of 45: What You Abscond With 46: What You Destroy 47: Who You Choose To Save 48: How You Escape 49: What Life You Live 50: Whom You Reassure 51: Who You Tell Your Story 52: Whose Side You Believe 53: What Makes You Happy 54: What You Remember 55: What You Assume 56: How You Explain 57: Why You Strike 58: How Much You Notice 59: What You Read 60: What You Accept 61: What You Sense 62: How Much You Learn 63: What Pieces You See 64: Who You Listen To 65: Who You Turn Your Back On 66: Who You Say You Love 67: How You Defend Yourself 68: What You Touch 69: How You Tempt 70: Whose Heart You Claim 71: Which Story You Trust 72: What Sky You Watch 73: Who You Point Out 74: How You Stop Speech 75: What Hurts You Take 76: What Truth You Hear 77: Why You Cast Spells 78: How You Attack 79: What Greeting You Give 80: What Life You Take 81: What You Decide 82: How You Mourn 83: What Question You Ask 84: Whom You Discuss 85: Which Parts You Speak 86: Whose Voice You Hear 87: What You Agree To 88: What You Interpret 89: Where You Hide 90: Whom You Challenge 91: How You Get Down 92: What You Do Well 93: What You Work Out 94: What Proof You Seek 95: What You Risk 96: What Thoughts You Think 97: Whose Favor You Win 98: How Much You Tell 99: How You Accept Help 100: What Tales You Tell 101: How You Win Or Lose 102: What Face You Mask 103: Whose Heart You Hold 104: What Fate You Deserve 105: What Hopes You Cherish 106: Whose Love You Desire 107: How Your Story Ends 108: Where Your Destiny Leads 109: What You Despair Of 110: What Dreams May Come 111: You Just Might Get It Next

Strange, random impressions flitted across Draco’s mind as he lay silent in the dark.

I thought I was supposed to see my life flash before my eyes? Or maybe that’s not until I actually die. Think I’ll wait a little while for it, thanks.

The cloth holding his right arm to his side was smooth and fine against the backs of his fingers.

Lucius probably insisted. Only the best for his son, traitor to the Dark Lord or not.

He wore no robes, just soft trousers and a short-sleeved shirt.

Maybe because I don’t deserve to be called a wizard by their lights anymore?

Whatever was lying across his legs was not only heavy but warm and breathing, and possessed of a familiar bony elbow, currently digging into his left thigh.

Just like them. Tend to me, then toss Luna on top of me any old way.

He squirmed his leg out of direct contact with the elbow’s point, scowling as the effort made his heart race and the stump of his left arm throb with pain. Whether from the shock of the injury or from his all-encompassing fear, he was weak as a knitten.

Funny, it almost feels like two people on me. Second one is small, not too heavy. Maybe he caught some Muggle kid who sneaked out to watch the house burn...

A scent like candle smoke and pine needles hung in the air.

Smoke is probably me, I did come from a fire. And pine... well, tomorrow’s Christmas, or probably today by now, and no one stopped Mother from hanging those garlands in the hallway, even if I did see a few of the thicker types using them for target practice the other day.

Another scream rang out, as if thinking of Narcissa had hurt her. Draco hissed in sympathy. Whatever he’s doing to her, it must be terrible. I wonder why he doesn’t have me there to watch? Usually he wouldn’t miss something so obvious...

Maybe he’ll let me watch what he does to Lucius. I might actually enjoy that. He snorted sardonically. Last thing I ever will enjoy—what happened after the Astronomy Tower will seem light compared to what I’ve got coming now—

Terror drove a fist into his gut and dried his mouth as Draco recalled what, precisely, the Dark Lord had done to him after the Astronomy Tower.

He used Legilimency. He looked into my mind and saw it all, saw everything. I tried to fight, I’ll try harder this time, but I know I can’t beat him. If he sees where I’ve been going, if he sees the otherworld and how happy they all are—if he sees he can get there just by holding onto me while I sleep—

A moan forced its way past his lips, competing with the woman’s longest scream yet.

It would mean I’d live. I might even be able to save Luna. But everyone else, everyone I love, they’ll all die, die or be Kissed or taken prisoner, and it’ll be my fault, my fault, all my fault—

A door crashed open beyond his range of vision. Draco stiffened, clenching his teeth rather than let whoever had come in hear him crying like a baby.

I’ll be screaming soon enough. No reason to start early.

"Draco!"

The voice was feminine, anguished, and impossible.

Going mad before the torture even starts. Good God, I’m pathetic...

Lights sprang to life in front of him, many tiny twinkling points all at once, with one brighter source of illumination high up. Draco winced and half-shut his eyes, squinting to try to make out the shape of whatever the light was coming from. Roughly triangular, bits sticking out every which way, gleams of different-colored spheres and drapings of shimmering silver—

I know what that is.

And there is absolutely, positively not one at Malfoy Manor.

I don’t think there ever has been.

Does this mean—could it be—

"Beautiful, clever, maddening boy," the voice spoke again, and its owner dropped to her knees in front of him, one hand pulling loose the bedsheet wrapped around him to free his arm while she stroked his cheek with the other. "You’re meant to despair before you’re saved, not after!"

"Mum," Draco gasped out, and startled himself, if no one else, by bursting into tears.

We made it. We weren’t caught after all. I must have finished the spell just in time...

Mum was gently waking Abby and Luna from where they were sleeping across his legs, shooing them out of the room, telling Abby to "go see if there’s news," kissing Luna on the forehead as she sometimes kissed Draco, before she returned to his side and helped him sit up. "What in the world were you thinking had happened?" she asked, sitting down on what Draco could now see was the longest of the couches in the front room of Fidelus Manor, then letting him lie down again, his head in her lap.

"Thought he’d caught us." Draco rolled onto his side, shivering with reaction, and Mum tucked the sheet in around him before Summoning a blanket as well. "He was there, coming up the stairs, I didn’t know if I’d done the spell before I blacked out—the spell!" He craned his neck to look up at her. "Mum, it’s a waking transit, the time’s running one-to-one, we’ll be missed—"

"From what Luna told me of the situation, I assumed as much," Mum said, sliding her hand under his shirt and onto his left shoulder, easing the throbbing pains running through his arm, even the part of it he didn’t have anymore. "After Andy and Aletha finished tending to you, I put you into a similar dream-trance to the one your spell induces, returned to Malfoy Manor with you, brought you out of it, and sent you to sleep to bring us back again. All, unless I’m very much mistaken, without you or anyone else knowing a thing about it. You could stay a week with us now and not be missed, and I think that is just what I may have you do."

Draco nodded absently. Most of his attention was taken up by how good it felt to have his shoulder rubbed, how heavy his eyelids were growing again, how quiet everything was behind Mum’s voice...

"Who was screaming?" he asked, taking time out in the middle for a yawn. "What was happening to her? Why’d she stop?"

"I assume she stopped because what was happening to her was finished. As to what that was, and who she is—" Mum broke off and beckoned to someone Draco couldn’t see. "Why don’t you have a look for yourself."

Moony walked into view, cradling a blanket-wrapped bundle in his arms. As he went to one knee, Draco caught sight of a tiny, red face and a briefly waving fist. Of course, of course, I’d almost forgot—Danger must have gone into labor while I was out—

"Now, Jenny," Moony said solemnly, "this is called a boy. They’re very dangerous and I want you to stay away from them, do you understand?"

Draco laughed. "I guess it’s a girl then?" he said, and was delighted to hear his voice sounding close to normal.

"Yes, Danger was right again." Moony looked down tenderly at the baby in his arms. "Genevieve Katherine Beauvoi, but as you heard, everyone’s already calling her Jenny. A Christmas Eve baby, and all thanks to you, Draco. Though if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer Danger not receive any more panicked firecalls late at night from old family friends reporting the sudden appearance of injured children on their bedroom floors."

"Oops," Draco said guiltily.

Mum slapped Moony on the shoulder. "Stop that, now, he’s in no condition for teasing. Go show off your daughter to all those men littering your kitchen, I’m sure that’s why they’re there—oh, and thank Sirius for me, his timing was more than usually excellent."

"I’m going to assume he’ll understand that, since it means nothing to me." Moony stood up smoothly, then paused. "I don’t suppose you’d like to hold her?"

"Oh, go on, then." Mum held out her arms, and Moony set little Jenny in them with the greatest of care.

Draco pulled himself down the couch a short way to get a better look. Mum was dressed in soft cream robes today, he noticed belatedly, with a blue shawl over her shoulders. As she cradled the little girl and smiled down, crooning wordlessly, Moony stepped around behind her and gently lifted the shawl from its place, draping it over the back of her head so that it framed her face. Draco blinked at the picture thus created—he’d seen this before, and recently...

"Lie down, Draco," Mum said softly without taking her gaze from the baby, as Moony slipped from the room. "Lie down and close your eyes. I have an early Christmas present for you."

Draco obediently lay down, curling his legs a bit to fit into the available space. The last thing he saw as he closed his eyes was Mum’s hand coming towards his temple. It touched him—a brief instant of disorientation—

And he was wrapped in soft warm cloth and cradled in a strong supporting arm, with the face he loved best smiling down at him. Mum had linked his mind with Jenny’s, he realized distantly, allowed him to see and hear and feel everything that the baby did—

I thought you might enjoy the experience, her voice murmured silently. Call it a rain date, since I never had the chance to hold you when you were an infant yourself.

I wouldn’t have remembered it anyway if you had, Draco thought back tentatively. But I do like it... He trailed off in an enormous yawn, one echoed an instant later by Jenny.

Go to sleep, Draco, Mum said, bending down to kiss Jenny’s forehead, and Draco’s by extension. You will still be here when you awaken, and we will have Christmas.

You don’t have to wait it for me...

No, but we will want to. Go to sleep. Mum lifted her hand from his skin, breaking the connection between him and Jenny. "Sleep," she murmured aloud. "You need to recover."

"Yes, Mum," Draco mumbled. Then he opened his eyes. "Before I do—"

"Yes?" Mum’s voice was tart, as if to say that this had best be the last of the interruptions.

"What does Sirius have to do with anything?"

"What does—oh." Mum smiled. "Sirius is a male Heir of Ravenclaw, Draco. He cannot heal, as I can, but he can keep an injured person alive at need, and more importantly to us today, he can sense at a distance when someone is in need of healing. If he had not come through the Floo when he did, I would have thought you still asleep for hours, and you would have lain here in your fear..." She shivered slightly. "But you are safe now, and will soon be well again. Sleep, my love. Sleep."

Draco returned her smile and closed his eyes again, feeling himself drift away.

Safe. Home, and safe. And just in time for Christmas.

In his dreams, he was Jenny again, or himself at Jenny’s size, and Mum held him close and smiled at him tenderly. A man who looked rather like Moony but had a stronger nose and darker hair looked over her shoulder and smiled as well, and he knew nothing could be wrong with the world when they were nearby.

So this is what it’s like to have real parents.

He had never pitied his old self more.

---

Later, the Beauvois gathered beneath their tree to begin their Christmas Eve celebration. Cecy sat on the floor, her shawl still draped over her head and Jenny in her arms. Remus, in brown robes, stood behind her, holding a long staff. Ray and Neenie, likewise wearing brown, used their crooks to keep Abby, Dragon, and Nicki, all in fluffy white, in place. Jonathan stood to one side, dressed in shimmering silver.

One couch facing this tableau was occupied by Danger, who smiled at her younger children as they bounced eagerly where they sat. The other held Draco and Luna, the latter with a large book on her lap and her finger indicating the place where the former should start to read. Remus caught his eye and nodded.

Draco cleared his throat, a bit self-consciously, and began.

"And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a degree from Caesar Augustus, that the whole world should be taxed..."

Previous 1: What You Wish For 2: Who You Look At 3: What You Admit To 4: Where You Count To 5: What You Believe In 6: How High You Fly 7: How Hard You Fall 8: Who You Get To Know 9: What You Say You'll Do 10: Who You Ask For Help 11: Who You Think About 12: Where You Fall Asleep 13: Who You Defy 14: How You Begin 15: What You Try To Say 16: What Shape You Wear 17: Who You Sing With 18: Whose Name You Say 19: Who You Say You'll Be 20: How Long You Take 21: What You Bargain With 22: Where You Call Home 23: What You Hold Onto 24: What You Dance To 25: What You Spy On 26: Whom You Show Love 27: What You Act Like 28: Who You Show Off To 29: What You Scheme For 30: What You Contrast 31: What You Create 32: What Soul You Seek 33: What Trouble You Brew 34: When You Make Your Move 35: Who You Call Family 36: Whom You Tease 37: What You Mean To Kill 38: What Help You Find 39: Where You Watch 40: Who You Bring Along 41: What You Pretend 42: What You Find Important 43: What Wish You Tell 44: Who You Dream Of 45: What You Abscond With 46: What You Destroy 47: Who You Choose To Save 48: How You Escape 49: What Life You Live 50: Whom You Reassure 51: Who You Tell Your Story 52: Whose Side You Believe 53: What Makes You Happy 54: What You Remember 55: What You Assume 56: How You Explain 57: Why You Strike 58: How Much You Notice 59: What You Read 60: What You Accept 61: What You Sense 62: How Much You Learn 63: What Pieces You See 64: Who You Listen To 65: Who You Turn Your Back On 66: Who You Say You Love 67: How You Defend Yourself 68: What You Touch 69: How You Tempt 70: Whose Heart You Claim 71: Which Story You Trust 72: What Sky You Watch 73: Who You Point Out 74: How You Stop Speech 75: What Hurts You Take 76: What Truth You Hear 77: Why You Cast Spells 78: How You Attack 79: What Greeting You Give 80: What Life You Take 81: What You Decide 82: How You Mourn 83: What Question You Ask 84: Whom You Discuss 85: Which Parts You Speak 86: Whose Voice You Hear 87: What You Agree To 88: What You Interpret 89: Where You Hide 90: Whom You Challenge 91: How You Get Down 92: What You Do Well 93: What You Work Out 94: What Proof You Seek 95: What You Risk 96: What Thoughts You Think 97: Whose Favor You Win 98: How Much You Tell 99: How You Accept Help 100: What Tales You Tell 101: How You Win Or Lose 102: What Face You Mask 103: Whose Heart You Hold 104: What Fate You Deserve 105: What Hopes You Cherish 106: Whose Love You Desire 107: How Your Story Ends 108: Where Your Destiny Leads 109: What You Despair Of 110: What Dreams May Come 111: You Just Might Get It Next