Taim Kelrathos posted a comment on Saturday 11th February 2006 3:15am

Your story is great. I have one question though, are they in or near Pittsburgh, PA? The places they visit sound remarkably like Kennywood (the roller coaster was the Racer), the Pittsburgh Zoo and PPG Aquarium, and the Carnegie Science Center (especially those ramps, they were great to run on when I was little).

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 11th February 2006 2:31am

Ch.16 - - Okay, I am officially confused.

You never said, I believe, that Harry's bully cousin was named Dudley. I can only guess that as additional bad luck Petunia got pregnant just before Vernon went to jail, or that it was a brief incarceration. Or a little canoodling was going on which is gruesome to think about.

Looking forward...

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 11th February 2006 2:13am

Ch.16 - - I have never really liked a Draco-turns-good story - even the best written of them.

But this is the first fic where I can truly find myself wholeheratedly approving of a good Draco. Hopefully nothing will change that.

Narcissa's letter was poignant and sad, and well done. Perfect actually.

Can we give Umbridge to Grawp for a play toy? Bam-Bam!

Just wonderful.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 11th February 2006 12:32am

Ch.15 - - That's what we always want for our hero and his pack:

A Good Life.

Thanks for writing it.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 11th February 2006 12:12am

Ch.14 - - The pack concept is an excellent way to arrange this, and then to describe it.

I cannot wait to see Hermione and Harry in various stages of their pre-Hogwarts life.

Such a fun read, and very well written.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 11:58pm

Ch.13 - - This is delightful. Your last sentence:

"The world turned slowly on its axis, and just as slowly, reshaped itself from what it would have been into what it would now be."

...sets the stage beautifully.

I have never been an AU fan of fiction, but I have had an interest in Alternate History, which usually make matters worse than had really happened.

But recent AU Harry Potter fics have presented ways for Harry to have not endured the Dursley years, and still turn out fine.

I guess it is natural for us to want this for our hero. And you've done it here very well. Just delightfully. The best I've read that includes James and Lily still dying.

Cheers!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 11:39pm

Ch.12 - - The interchange between Sirius and Neenie as they both woke was priceless - so Hermione-like given the age.

This was a very choice bit of writing:

"Danger rolled her eyes. Men! One-track minds!
Women! Everything hopelessly complicated!
Did we just delineate the battle of the sexes in eight words?
Yes, I believe we did."

Quizer posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 8:35pm

This is also something I didn't encounter in this way before: a Snape that is given numerous chances, but refuses to be redeemed because of his own petty grudges. Good job again.

Quizer

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 3:54pm

Ch.11 - - That last line was wonderful. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Dumbledore should have known better. I like the idea of McG getting on his case.

Your Curse of the Righteous was brilliant!

Terrific all around!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 3:41pm

Ch.10 - -Two touching reunions in a row.

So very well done indeed.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 3:27pm

Ch.9 - - The reunion was most touching.

Imagining what it would be like in the various character's places tells me you have done a fine job with this chapter.

The emotions you write are very realistic.

Fine work!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 3:13pm

Ch.8 - - The connectedness you've created for the four is delightful.

Danger raising her hand while asleep and drawing them in was a wonderful bit.

What a terrific fic.

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 2:57pm

Ch.7 - - Thanks for doing what Icannot bring myself to do to the Dursleys. Great curse creation.

This is so exciting.

Excellent plot!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 2:29pm

Ch.6 - - Harry's plight hurts. I am glad that thinking about this goes along with a decent plan to retrieve him from it.

A happy Remus is a wonderful thing. Your OCs are terrific.

Cheers!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 2:12pm

Ch.5 - - One of my favorite things in fanfiction is seeing new ideas and concepts. The idea of a wolf tamer is simply terrific. I love it.

Their relationship is moving fast, but you have done a fine job of making it a believeable fast courtship.

Fun, fun, FUN!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 1:15pm

Ch.4 - - It is so sad to think about Harry at this age. It probably was like this. Makes me want to write a scene where the Dursleys are treated badly. But I'm not that kind of guy.

But I do like ot think about Ginny and or Hermione punching Vernon.

I've always wanted Remus to have someone.

Thanks for that.

Quizer posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 10:30am

Great ending. Many loose ends left over that fairly scream to be worked into a sequel. I've found out that you have a myriad of other works already written, including one completed sequel and one more that is currently being worked at. You might want to post a note on the main page saying that all these can be found at ff.net, for all those who first encountered this series on this site network. I think it might save them from a couple of sleepless nights (or be the their cause, whichever way you look at it ;) ) I do realize that everything will probably and eventually be posted here, but until then, people would probably appreciate to know where to find them in the meantime. I sure do.
You truly are one of the Ultimates in Harry Potter fanfiction, putting to shame even the most excellent of authors which I thought couldn't be topped. I read this story in a single sitting and I don't think I would have been able to go to sleep without finishing it. Congratulations on a work that well done.

Quizer

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 9:44am

Ch.3 - - I am totally snared. This is a pulse racing chapter.

I like the construct you are draping around the canon facts to create something new.

Fine work!

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 9:26am

Ch.2 - - I am hopelessly hooked. Great tale.

The idea of a prophetic poem is very original and very fine work.

Just fascinating all around.

I have always wanted Remus to be happy with a girlfriend, but I have always thought Tonks is wrong for him. But I like her too.

Just grand!

Quizer posted a comment on Friday 10th February 2006 9:22am

Wow. Just wow. I can't say I have ever encountered writing this powerful.
You had us in deep suspense there, and I wasn't sure if things would turn out alright, but you've made it into a happy ending to end all happy endings. This is what I aspire to, what I strive to do one day. I hope there will be a continuation of this story that deals with Harry's and his friend's Hogwarts years. Congratulations on a story so well done that I lack words to give you the praise you deserve.

Quizer